The television has been filled with images of the legendary basketball coach, John Wooden and the news of his recent death at the age of 99. To those who knew him best, it was never about his impressive basketball-coaching career, but about the integrity of a man who lived a life worth talking about.
In the book, How to Be Like Coach Wooden: Life Lessons from Basketball's Greatest Leader, Jim Harley, longtime coach at Eckerd College in St. Petersburg, Florida wrote these words,
“John Wooden is a humble giant. At the 1975 Final Four, I saw him sitting by himself one morning, getting some sun. I walked over sat down next to him and we talked for thirty minutes. What an awesome time it was for me as we talked about recruiting, practices and other things coaches discuss. Here he was going for his tenth national title and he had time for an unknown coach from a small school in Florida.”
Jim Harley is my uncle, my mother’s maiden name is Linda Harley and my grandfather, Bill Harley, was his older brother. I was blessed to visit my Uncle Jim a few weeks ago at his beautiful home in St. Petersburg. My father and mother had their wedding reception in his backyard almost 30 years ago and so I always love visiting his home.
This visit was different; Uncle Jim invited me into his coaching office where I stood in awe of all the plaques, pictures, trophies and books that filled the space. He went to the bookshelf and grabbed a book and handed it to me opened to the page where I read about him meeting Coach Wooden. He then flipped to the books inside cover and in it had placed the article about Coach Wooden Athletes for a Better World Citizenship Cup award highlighting where I was listed as a semi-finalist.
I smiled to hold back the tears that desperately wanted to roll down my cheeks and instead pointed to a large picture of an older black man and asked him who was photographed in the picture.
He shared with me that this picture was of one of his former basketball players who died, and that he had the honor of speaking at his funeral. He spoke of all the emotions that he felt on that day speaking in front of his family and many loved ones.
After telling many more stories and reminiscing of the past and looking at some of Aunt Mary Alice’s paintings, I was finally ready to head home.
Earlier, Uncle Jim had handed me a graduation gift, the book, Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success, Building Blocks for a Better Life. I was so thankful for our time together and before I left, Uncle Jim gave me a big hug and said these three words, “ I love you. ” This was the first time I had ever heard these words spoken from him and I had no grasp to the impression it would leave.
I smiled and again fought back the tears that were trying to get loose. I made it to the car and rode in silence for some time until they came, my tears rolling down my cheeks, as I was filled with such wonderful emotions of happiness, joy and thankfulness.
My Uncle Jim is the closest person I have to a grandfather. I am even crying as I write this. My grandfather, Bill Harley, died three years ago from cancer, I loved my grandpa and was so blessed to be able to see him and hold his hand the week before he passed away. He was my only grandpa, as my father’s dad died when he was 2 years old and his adopted father passed away when he was 18 years old.
I was at a friends wedding this weekend and again felt these same emotions as I watched her dance with her grandfather. I will not have this opportunity, but I know that they will be smiling down from heaven watching me dance on my wedding day.
There are so many great life lessons that I have learned just through reading Coach Wooden’s Building Blocks For A Better Life.
I love his definition of integrity, “purity of intention”. My parents chose my name, Kara, because it signifies purity. I desire to have a pure heart and although many times I mess up and seek my own way, I know that the Lord has called me to walk in his light and to love him and love others.
Coach Wooden talks about the integrity of those such as Mother Teresa, who said, “ A life not lived for others is not a life.”
Uncle Jim exemplifies Coach Wooden’s definition of integrity. Here is just a glimpse …
Coach Harley taught me many things, but there are three I want to highlight: 1) the team's welfare is above any one individual; 2) that you must always finish what you started; and 3) friendship is a life time commitment and endeavor. I am the man I am today because Coach Harley was an influence in my early years and has stayed involved. My relationship with Coach erased the specter of race. I cannot hate because of James R. Harley even though I have many times been given reasons and grounds. Hating would diminish what we have shared. He is a keeper.
- Harry K. Singletary, Jr. ‘68
In honor of Coach Wooden I wrote this blog to him, as I would share with him all this I wrote and finish with saying these humble words, “thank you.”
